Love, Since I Can Finally Say It
by LAB Rats
Summary: Fred never got to say I love you. Now, Harry takes the chance to from beyond the grave. Warning: Character death, slash


Disclaimer- I don't own this. We don't own this. This fic is all that's ours. Leave us alone, mean lawyers.

Fred stroked the calender's pages. It was an old calender, it's dates changing to match the year, but there was something special about this calender.

It had writing all over it.

_First time I saw Harry._

_First time I talked to Harry._

_I gave Harry the Marauders map._

_Harry beat Voldemort over the stone_

_Harry won the tournement._

_Harry gave us the money to start our shop._

_Harry took care of me while I was drunk._

_Harry and I got drunk together._

Fred didn't know what to write for That day, the day that the war ended and Voldemort finally died.

Suggestions had come from his twin, who had helped him with this calender over the years, knowing how much Fred loved the boy.

The day that Harry won the war? No, He didn't win. He died. He shouldn't have died. Fred had it planned, he was going to ask Harry out on his birthday- he's turn 20 in a little over a week.

The Day Harry Defeated Voldemort? While that's true, its also not. Harry may have defeated Voldemort, but he was also defeated.

The Day We Won the War? Can the war be won without Harry? Without the love of his life? _**They**_may have won the war, but as far as Fred knew, he'd lost. It took away his reasons for living.

The Day that Harry Died? Like he could ever forget. He would remember this day and mourn for the rest of his life, but that wasn't what this calender was for. It was for his life with Harry. With.

Eventually, he put his pen on the paper. _Harry found peace, for once in his life._

There was a knocking at the door, and Fred opened it to find Hermione, who was possibly the only person who had cried over Harry more then he had. If Molly Weasley was still alive, then it would have been her. But, she died when she jumped in front of a curse for Ginny.

Hermione wiped her eyes on her sleeve. "I know that it's not the same for me, because you and Harry loved each other, but I miss him too. He left his stuff in boxes, with letters on top for everyone. I looked in the storage shed, and there were smaller boxes and letters for everyone who had died. Your mom, Ginny, Dean, Seamus, Draco, everyone. If I ever checked out the names of the fallen, I think I would find a corresponding box for all of them. This is yours. Harry lived through these boxes and his trunk. I don't think that he planned on dying, but he didn't want things unfinished if he died." She sniffled again.

Fred gave a watery smile. "Thanks for the idea, but Harry didn't love me. He saw me as a brother."

Hermione let out a sobbing giggle. "Gods, you're so dense. Harry probably explained."

Fred took the box and opened it up. On top was the marauders map and a sheet of paper.

_1. The marauders map. I know that you gave it to me to keep, but if you're getting this, I died before i could find anyone better to pass it on to. The Marauders on this map are my family. Moony was the werewolf name for Remus Lupin. Padfoot was the name for a dog animagus named Sirius Black. Prongs was my father, the majestic stag, James Potter. And Wormtail, well, he's Peter Pettigrew, the traitorous rat. _

Fred pulled it out, smoothing the wrinkles, then dug deeper. A silvery cloak came out. He glanced at the list for information about it.

_2. My invisibility cloak. You didn't think I survived all those years alone? This was the first thing I got that my parents had had. A family heirloom, of a sort, this cloak is one of the Deathly Hallows. Don't freak out, the rest are gone. The ring was destroyed because Voldemort wanted to pervert it. Gods, mind out of the gutter._

Fred smiled, pulling the cloak on before putting it away again. He could see the possibilities for the cloak, but most of them involved Harry in his head, so he put them aside.

_4. Wait, you didn't think I'd skip 3? oh well. I just wanted to annoy you. The next item is my prefect badge. I kept it. That was something I was so proud of, because I had to earn that. Most things were given to my on a platter. I never earned them. I hated that, but you knew that, didn't you?_

Fred pulled out the shiny badge and saw the letters, the shiny filigree, and felt the tears that fell down his face.

The next item he knew, something Harry cherished as something from his parents. The photo album.

_4. Honest, it's 4. I promise. Yeah, the photo album. I added pictures of me, of my friends and my life. And I wanted to leave it to you, because I know you'll continue to add to it. Right?_

Fred didn't know what more could be in there, but there was a snitch, a sweater, a mirror, Harry's stuffed owl plushie, and a box that zapped him when he tried to touch it.

_5. I know that you'll be confused about the snitch, but it's the first snitch I ever caught, and the same one that I caught every year that I was playing quidditch with you._

_6. Your mom always made me sweaters. I kept promising myself that I would tell her I'm not that big, someday, but I never found it in me. I knew that she loved making those sweaters as much as I loved wearing them, but honestly, Ron's was smaller then mine. Sometimes I wondered if she made them so big so that I could fit two in there. I considered testing it by asking someone to join me in the sweater. One person in particular, but he left before I got the courage. Yes, I'm not always brave._

_7. This mirror was the last thing that Sirius gave me. I didn't even open the present until he died. He promised I could always talk to him if I had my mirror. I didn't even think about it when he was alive, and now that he's dead, I couldn't find his mirror, this one's partner, so I couldn't give it to anyone else then. _

_8. Last one, I promise. My Hedwig. You all wondered where I'd gotten the plushy, but it's simple. One of the slytherins did it to Hedwig. The plushy was once my owl, and I cannot turn her back. She wouldn't be alive anyway. Hedwig has stayed with me through thick and thin, and I knew that I'd never be able to get rid of her, so I kept her as plushie. I don't think I would have been able to get this far without my faithful bird. And no, I'm not talking about a female chit._

Fred let out a sobbing laugh as he read the last of it. Joking until the last, Harry was doing everything possible to imbue the paper with his personality, and his warmth. Harry was trying to make sure that Fred doesn't mourn him too long.

Fred opened the letter, expecting a short thing that would say that he's left these for his friend, and that he shouldn't mourn. Well, he was partly right.

_Dear Fred._

_ Didn't think you'd be so obvious in your affections. No, don't throw this away. Do you remember that night I took care of you when you were drunk? I hope not, well, not yet. I do though, I'd never be able to forget. You told me many interesting things, and I checked with George later. _

_ This is the part where I say, I've loved you too, for a long time now. _

_ Now for the important part. I saw your calendar. You're missing days._

_ March 3__rd__, the first time Harry admitted to himself that he liked Fred._

_ March 8__th__, the first time Harry considered kissing Fred._

_ April 3__rd__, the first time Harry had a nightmare that was focused on Fred dying, instead of everything else._

_ May 15__th__, the day that Harry told Hermione and Ron he liked Fred._

_ May 18__th__, the day that Hermione started trying to play matchmaker._

_ July 4__th__, the first time Harry wrapped his arms around Fred without freaking out._

_ July 31__st__, Harry's birthday- and the Day he decided on asking Fred out._

_ August 12__th__, the first time that Harry asked Mr. Weasley if he could date Fred, when this was over._

_ September 19__th__, the day that Harry got drunk and admitted to half the Gryffindor tower that he loved Fred._

_ December 24__th__, the day that Harry made the Christmas wish of seeing Fred._

_ December 31__st__, the day that Harry kissed Fred during the dark time at midnight._

_ Did you know that I kept my own? I put it in the box. You had to read this first._

_ This may be the only time I will ever be able to tell you this, but I love you. I love you completely, more then life itself. I love you. How did I ever tell you and George apart? I knew who I loved, and I loved you. I'm sorry for the pain you'll feel when I die. Dumbledore didn't expect me to live this long. I'm sorry. I tried to survive as long as I could, but I couldn't live longer than those I loved. I loved you, and I always will. _

_ Love, since I can finally say it, _

_ Harry._

_P. S. I love you._

_P.P.S. Tell George that I left him the WWW products because I had more important things to leave you._

_P.P.P.S. Make sure you get my trunk. If you want anything from it, it's yours. Burn the rest. Don't let them sell my stuff like they've always wanted. People have stolen from me so someone could by 'authentic Harry Potter shirts.' Don't let it happen. I'll die of embarrassment again, and you'll have to die twice to join me. But don't go too fast, I want to spend a lot of time looking down on everyone and laughing. _

Fred sobbed openly, putting the things from the box onto the bed and sobbing harder. After he finished crying, he put the dates on the calendar, which was now completely full.


End file.
